Still life goes on!

I’m from a part of the country that thrives on football.  Never mind past-time, it’s the local obsession!  Somehow the football gene missed me out completely however.  As a participatory sport, or a spectator one, it leaves me cold.  There’s something that can’t be denied however and that’s the feeling of pride that surrounds the city when the team is doing well, or even the electricity that seems to hang in the air when there’s an important home game being played at the team’s stadium in the centre of the city. 

It’s that feeling of community pride that was sparked yesterday when I read about Kevin Keegan returning to the area to manage the team.  There are always folk heroes and Keegan is certainly one of those in the history of football in this area.  Both as player and manager this is a man who has managed to create an even greater enthusiasm for the team than usually exists – not an easy task when a football team has as much support from its fan base as this one does.  Despite the fact he didn’t get the team to a major trophy last time he managed it, he’s still fondly remembered as someone who shines in this team’s history and someone who I’m pleased to see return to the area.

Like the game, or loathe it (as I do) it’s hard not to notice when something has a positive influence over a community, and Keegan once again leading Newcastle United is definitely that.  Whether you’re in a bus, or the local grocery store, it’s going to be the talk of the area for a few weeks to come.   Whether or not he manages to pull an a shiny new acquisition into the team’s sadly lacking trophy cabinet out of his sport’s bag is yet to be seen.  Simply the fact that this giant football legend is once more in command  at St. James’ Park is enough to have any talk of possible “unthinkable” relegation replaced with one of hope and renewed enthusiasm amongst the notorious “Toon Army” – even with the footie avoiders like myself!

First of all, one must consider the bread. It must be whole grain, full of flavor but devoid of any “additives”. I suggest a nice sprouted wheat bread: whole grain, no high-fructose corn syrup, lightly seeded crust. The size of the slice should be about the palm of your hand and about the thickness of the first joint of your finger. This is the secret to the perfect ham sandwich.

Secondly, one must think about the ingredients, other than the ham, of course. Cheese, mustard and a bit of lettuce are the perfect combination. Let’s talk cheese. Cheese is wonderful, but you must not use your run-of-the-mill-dairy-aisle cheese in the grocery store. To make the sandwich perfect, go to your local cheese shop. I highly recommend a nice Havarti type cheese: creamy, smooth and aged to perfection. Cheddar isn’t bad either, but Havarti is better. Trust me. Now, let us talk mustard. It is no good using the cheap yellow mustard easily obtained at any fast food restaurant. Go for a deli technique with whole mustard seeds and high-quality ingredients. True mustard is not neon yellow! Lastly, let us speak of lettuce. Romaine is best – approximately two leaves, rinsed and patted dry with a paper towel. The crisper, the better. This is the secret to the perfect ham sandwich.

Thirdly, one must ponder the ham. It is no good getting pre-packaged lunch meat. No, no, no! Go to the deli. Order some freshly sliced lunch meat. Your taste buds will appreciate your thoughtfulness. But, what type of ham? Honey-cured? Only if you enjoy the deviousness of a sweet palate. Do not ruin a masterful ham sandwich with sweetness. Go for the salt-cured. Thinly sliced. Trust me. Your mouth will be much happier with those savory slices than sickly-sweet ham. This is the secret to the perfect ham sandwich.

Finally, one must consider how to layer the sandwich together: bread, two slices of ham, mustard, cheese, mustard, two slices of ham, bread. This is the secret to the perfect ham sandwich.