Still life goes on!

I harbour a guilty secret.  Something which I am ashamed to admit to.  And I know better, I should never partake in it.  But I cannot resist.  The cravings overcome me and no matter how much I try to think of other things, I am drawn to that neon lit sign.  The smell that wafts through the air hits my nostrils and sets my mouth salivating, brings evocative images to mind and feelings of joy to my own being.

Do you feel the same way too?  Can you resist its allure or do you give in and find yourself inundated with pangs of hunger whenever you pass-by.  And it does not occur everyday, but once in a while, you feel it.  The feeling of resistance is one of futility.  No matter how much you try, that craving suddenly hits, and no amount of distractions or anything else can stop you from entering the fluorescent lit store and ordering - junk food.

For me, the cravings were particularly bad when I used to work the night shifts.  Suddenly and without warning I would pass a burger king and just salivate over the thought of a Melted Double Cheeseburger.  Or who can resist the Hot Wings from Dixie Fried Chicken.  And there is nothing like the taste of a greasy Donner Kebab gently sinking down to the bottom of my stomach, lubricated with masses of chilli sauce.  Being an ex-employee of McDonalds, I am more immune to the offerings of that particular chain.  And this is not an everyday thing I am talking about, but once in a while, I am just carried away by the need for something bad.

And now, as a self-employed man?  Well, my working patterns are now mainly in the early hours of the morning and so I can no longer be enticed by the wafting smell of late night chicken bars.  Instead, I now have a new craving.  The fry-up!

Today’s been a bit of an adventure.  A tourist adventure really.  We currently have house guest from the US staying with us.  He’s a very quiet guest; well he would be considering he’s a paper doll!  You see he’s part of a school project that the son of a friend mine is taking part in.  The paper doll is known as a “flat Stanley” and he is sent out on his travels to stay with people who have agreed to host him.  The idea is that the hosts take him around their city or local area and take photos of him near touristy kinds of attractions, buildings, statues etc.  Then they send the photos along with some souvenirs back to the person who sent him, and send “flat Stanley” onto the next host for a new adventure.  Eventually Stanley will return home and his owner will make a presentation of his travels in > 

It’s been an interesting day.  We’ve covered more ground than we’d of usually covered on a Saturday.  We’ve been to the lake, to the river, we’ve ate hot dogs – and fresh doughnuts, looked at old buildings, museums, a local marina, and even an ancient monument.  Plus we went into tourist places to buy postcards and souvenirs of course!  All of which have been photographed with “Stanley” as part of the picture.  

What’s been the most interesting part of the day is that although we’re all completely shattered now (barring “Stanley” who looks as fresh as he did this morning!) we had a great family day!  We were taking photos of a paper doll for a child we didn’t know, from a city we couldn’t point to on a map without guidance, in a country we’d never been to – and we were having a ball!  OK so taking a photo of someone holding a hot dog out to a paper doll may have attracted some strange looks, but who cares, we had a lovely family day out, and helped someone with their project at the same time!

I have never really liked any of the jobs that I have taken up.  Then again, none have been very entertaining.  Shop assistant, fast food worker, care home worker, the usual McJobs available to the average Londoner.  My last job was a bus driver.  Believe it or not, that was not my worst job, but it was not my ideal career either.  However, it did pay the bills, something that you want to do when you climb out of bed in the morning.

Now I am self-employed, and I am loving it.  Being your own boss is great, it’s something that has to be experienced.  You are the Daddyo, you are handling cash that is your own and you are the master of all you survey.  If you have an idea, you can try it out.  No need to ask someone.  And when the going is good, it is all yours!

But it is also a frightening abyss.  There are days when do not earn a penny.  In fact, you loose money just for going to work.  Then there is the responsibility of actually going to work.  Do you get yourself out of bed or call in sick?  Nope, that excuse does not work for the self employed.  And then once you come home, you got to write up your accounts for the day and make sure you have everything in place so when it comes to doing your self assessment, it is not one big panic.  It takes a lot of planning to run your own business.

I am not sure how long I will go along this path of self-fulfilling earnings.  I gave myself six months to see if I can stabilise my accounts and to make back what I put in.  Hopefully that will work, fingers crossed!  But despite all the difficulties and uncertainties, self-employment is by far and away the most enjoyable job I have had to date.  And I have learnt more by just doing this than in any other occupation that I have had.